5 Tips to Help with Your Spirited Child

Have a spirited child?  One that always seems to rise to the challenge?  Here are a few tips that helped me keep my cool and nurture our relationship.  A lot of the times, it's my reaction that can either nip the situation in the bud OR I can cause it to spiral out of control.

1. Do NOT engage.  Seriously, why am I arguing with a 5 yr old.  I gave you an answer. To often I find myself arguing to make my point. Not worth it. She will not fully understand.  I am open to respectful discussion, however, I will not engage in back and forth arguing. I find I have to be the grown up... oh gee, I AM the grown up! So I have to act like one and not bicker with my child.

2. Pick your battles.  Am I a fan of how she does her hair? No.  Am I fan of her outfits. No. Do I dislike how many clothes are on the floor? No. Do I dislike how she uses up all the tape in the house, all my printer paper...where is my stapler? Where are my scissors???? Breathe.  Breathe again. These are the tiny things that can turn into big things so easily.  Does she take a shower. Yes. so her hair is fine.  Are her clothes modest, appropriate and clean? Yes, so it's not a big issue.  I hear that a messy room means she is creative.  And all the missing office supplies suggests that also.  However, is she rolling her eyes as me, disrespectful, unkind or defiant.?  Those are the battles I will step up lay down the discipline.

3. Make alone time.  I find she acts out because she wants to be with me.  Play a game. Do date nights.  Run an errand together. Pray with her alone. Read Bible together. Just take her one on one and talk in your room. Show her you are willing to put down your phone or wait on those dishes and laundry, so you can look her in the eyes and show her how precious and important she is to you. Bring her in close, otherwise you will loose her in the future.  Make time for her now, so she will make time for you as she gets older.

4. Heaps of Love and Encouragement.  Out of all my girls, she needs the most love and affirmation. Constant encouragement and daily, almost hourly positive words and love.  The more I give, the better her attitude is.  I ask her how her "love tank" is doing and she honestly will say its low, so that is where I step up and squeeze her til she says, "hearts are coming out of my ears."  Is she giving you a hard time, just stop, give her a funny look and give her a hug and say I love you!  That will diffuse the issue on the spot. Love on them, pay attention to their moods and body language, she most likely just needs you to come and give her a huge hug.

5. Start your day in prayer and God's Word.  I find that I have more patience and am able to deal with situations in a more calm and peaceful way if I start my day with Jesus.  On the days that I overlook this precious time, my day is more frazzled and I tend to be more tightly wound. Pray for the patience, wisdom and understanding it takes to mold a young child. What a wonderful opportunity we have, and very important one, that I do not want to take it on without His guidance.  It is essential that she sees me spending this time with the Lord as well.  Show her how to be more like Jesus. Be the example.



It's hard to believe that the same child that tries me every which way and challenges me on a level that is beyond my understanding.  Is the same child that loves beyond measure, is compassionate and aware of the needs of others. She loves and cares deeply.  There is a fountain of love under her tough exterior.  At the end of the day, when all is said and done, she is waiting for her prayers, hugs and kisses. I thank the Lord for this beautiful daughter He has given me!

5 ways to Mother Your Motherhood

Being a mommy, either of young ones or big ones, your motherhood takes a beating.  I seem to take the brunt of Lego fights, complaining about getting the bigger broccoli and the sassy lip service.  My mothering attitude starts to go swirling in the toilet and then I start acting like the 4 yr old, complaining about the complaining and my lip service is less then stellar. My Motherhood needs Mothering.  Why do I let the 6 yr old get the best of me...I am the adult..right???  I should respond in soft , yet firm tones, and quote Scripture in order to correct the behavior. Umm...sure...sometimes...

I need to apply some nurturing to my motherhood.  It needs to be treated like a child who is needing some correction.  Before you should start your day of motherhood, give it some good mothering so it can hold up under the most difficult of days.

-Smother your motherhood in Scripture and Prayer daily- Who else is going to understand your motherhood more than our Heavenly Father.  He is in our shoes on daily basis when dealing with us :) He knows all too well when His children forget the rules, disobey and treat other unkindly.

-Be Careful what you say--because when you say it, it may not seem so bad. But when your child repeats exactly what you say, it comes back 10x more sassy and disrespectful.  I am sometimes taken aback at how I sound through the lips of my child.  Mother your words, watch them and talk like you want to be talked to back.

-Choose to be Happy--If I see my child moping around and grumpy, more than likely, I have been grumpy. I need to Mother my attitude and put a smile on my face.  Turning on worship music or contemporary Christian music really lifts the frowns upside down in this house.  I need to be proactive about creating an atmosphere of Joy and Thanksgiving in my home.

-Get enough sleep and eat well--This is a daily mothering we give our kids, so we need to mother ourselves too.  You need to be rested and get the sleep you need to be the mom you need to be.  If you are living on coffee and donuts for 3/4 of the day, then that will tilt your motherhood in the negative direction.  We need to set the example.

-Relax. Play. Say "yes" sometimes.  --I sometimes see my girls get stressed and ready to blow up at their sister over the smallest of errors.  I say, "Relax, it's OK."  But, I actually need to follow my own advice.  We need to relax and say it's going to be OK.  Yes, we have a To-Do list a mile long, the flowers need planting, and I need to go to the grocery store.  Breathe. Sit down, read a story with your kids.  Then have them help with your to-do list, they love to plant flowers with you too, and maybe let daddy do the grocery shopping :) Enjoy being a mother. Say "yes" when they want to run thru the sprinklers.
You want to see them giggle...run thru the sprinkler with them.
Your kids want to see you enjoying your motherhood.  So take the time to Mother your motherhood, because it will effect generations of mothers after you.

Are You In Vain????

As I was doing my devotionals this morning, I was reading in Psalm when I was struck by this verse...."Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain."  Psalm 127:1

Being a busy mom of 4 little girls, I think of all the work I do everyday, from sun up( well, mine doesn't start til 9am) to sun down!!  If I don't give it to the Lord, it's all in vain.  Ahhhh!!  Really!!  That is the last thing a mommy wants to hear!  My looong days of laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, ect is in vain.....UNLESS....it's given to God.  As I keep a hawks eye on my kids, guarding and watching them as they play and teaching them about stranger danger....it is in vain.....UNLESS....I give them to God..Everyday, I am building, building, building into my children, my house, my friends and family, my church...but if I am not bringing them to the Lord in prayer first, giving control over to the Savior of mankind, it is in vain.  My work profits them very little.  But the work of the Lord will profit them for eternity and that is what I want......

So, they have clean underwear, BUT do they have a clean heart?
So, they have food to eat, BUT are they hungry for God?
So, they have a roof over their heads, BUT are they in a house that God built?

It is good that God reminds me that even tho I am running my kids to soccer, playdates, field trips..thinking this is what they MUST have in life, that doing these things will make me a good mom...it is all in vain compared to the building blocks of righteousness I need to build in them to make them strong in this world.  I want them to have a Godly foundation of prayer, worship, Bible and church fellowship.  Then we can build other things on top of that, but if God is not their foundation, it will crumble.  Those other things will fall away and when they hit bottom, God will be there!  That is what I want .........

Bed Wetting....HELP!!

My beautiful, talented and incredibly smart 6 year old daughter is a bed-wetter.  I couldn't wrap my mind around this ordeal.  It was so frustrating and I have been waiting for her to "out-grow" it, but it just wasn't happening. After dealing with peed in sheets and  PJ's for years after potty training was completed, I needed an alternative....and now!  This wasn't happening a random few nights a month...this was happening about 5 nights out of the week!!  My 2 yr old was already dry thru the night! 
After looking thru the products of urine alarm systems and other gadgets, I found no other solution but to pay over $100 for something to help! Anything....I had to start somewhere...but before I typed in my credit card number, I happened to listen to this CD on child behavior.  Orginially, I was looking for some info on my "spirited and strong-willed" 4 yr old, but stumbled upon more.  It suggested a natural pro-biotic vitamin, called acidophilis.  I refuse to "medicate" my kids, but this was a natural pro-biotic that we all need.  Sometimes there is a yeast build-up in the tummies of our little kids that can cause behavioral and emotional problems, and they even mentioned that it has helped with bed-wetters.  So, I wanted to give it a try.  It was natural and good for them, so no harm in trying and it won't break the bank. 
Within a few days...she was dry....every night.....I had NEVER had her do that and I felt like rejoicing!! I have searched the internet and never heard of this.  Who knew a little daily vitamin was all I needed to get thru this.  I recommend trying it and I hope you have success with it like I have.  I just wanted to share our story and hoping it will help someone like YOU :)
Blessings!

 

We used the chewable tablets and make sure you get it from the refridgerated section!!

If you want more info on how I learned about this check out:

"The Biology of Behavior"

by: Dianne Craft, MA, CNHP

http://www.diannecraft.com/article-001.htm

Ooops, we did it again!

God has decided to grow our family again, and we are expecting baby #4 in September 2012.  We are so excited and know that this new little one is a blessing from above.   As soon as the giddiness of sweet visions of little baby toes and fingers wears off a little, the reality sets in and I freak out a bit....Ok...alot!   I will be going back to sleepless nights, we have no room in our little house, we need a mini-van now, we have NO health insurance and how will I homeschool with 4 kids....!!!!

Ok, I take a deep breath...slowly, as I rest in God's hands and remember that I am not in control, He reassures me. The things that seemed so big, are shrinking.  All the chaos I see and feel is something I am creating that does not need to be apart of my life. 

Psalm 4:8
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

God does not promise to keep us from having crazy lives, but He will help us handle it!  He gives us plenty of resources to get us through, we need only to grab hold of them and not let go!

1. His Word--start your day in God's word

2. Prayer-give your self time to talk to your Savior

3. Believing Friends--you are NOT the only one struggling with the day to day life of motherhood, finances, household, ect. Be encouraged by them and pray for each other.

4. Church and mom groups--get involved, get out and be a blessing.  Don't shut yourself up at home and wait for people to come wait on you.  Get out and bless others, you can help in the midst of your business and be fruitful for the kingdom!

 

Slurp Your Milk!

Every night at the dinner table my girls run to the silverware drawer to get a straw for their milk. However, it is becoming this battle within me for good manners! Because of course, once they get down to the bottom there is inevitable....slurping! Ugh! Here is my delimma..is this a battle I pick?? I don't know?? I don't want to be the mom of the kid who is slurping up a storm in a quiet restaurant or at the next family gathering. I, of course want my kids to be a picture of grace and poise. HA!! Who am I kidding? Myself of course! So I have decided to try to expect less poise at home, and be more of the enforcer in public. It's OK, to not be the perfect well mannered adult or kid ALL the time! We gotta give'em some slack. I want my kids to feel comfortable to be themselves in the surroundings of our own home! This will help lay the groundwork for future discussions in hopes they will feel comfortable sharing what's on their minds, knowing I won't be concerned with how they are sitting in their chair and having their elbows on the table. So, sit back, relax and slurp your milk!!

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too!

This is a picture of my precious daughter Chloe, and when I saw it I immediately thought of a note to share. Chloe is REALLY enjoying her cake...and why shouldn't she?? I love her and I want her to have fun and give her good gifts. It just reminded me of how Satan tells us that we don't deserve love, joy and peace. Or it is impossible to have a healthy marriage or a good relationship with my kids! Don't believe the lies my friends, God's word tells us otherwise..."If you then, being evil(sinners), know how to give good gifts to your children, how much MORE will YOUR heavenly Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11 God wants to give us our cake, why are you not partaking of it's goodness?????? He is a good parent wanting to give these good things to us, we just need to accept. No matter how big we get, we always love gifts from our parents. Follow God's Word to see how you can receive these gifts that keep on giving........

PEACE "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

JOY "But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for JOY, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be JOYFUL in You." Psalm 5:11

LOVE "And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him." 1 John 5:10

MARRIAGE ".....when I found the one I love, I held him and would not let him go............" Song of Solomon 3:4

CHILDREN "And you, fathers(and mothers), do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

Don't stop here...there is SO much more...keep searching