5 Tips to Help with Your Spirited Child

Have a spirited child?  One that always seems to rise to the challenge?  Here are a few tips that helped me keep my cool and nurture our relationship.  A lot of the times, it's my reaction that can either nip the situation in the bud OR I can cause it to spiral out of control.

1. Do NOT engage.  Seriously, why am I arguing with a 5 yr old.  I gave you an answer. To often I find myself arguing to make my point. Not worth it. She will not fully understand.  I am open to respectful discussion, however, I will not engage in back and forth arguing. I find I have to be the grown up... oh gee, I AM the grown up! So I have to act like one and not bicker with my child.

2. Pick your battles.  Am I a fan of how she does her hair? No.  Am I fan of her outfits. No. Do I dislike how many clothes are on the floor? No. Do I dislike how she uses up all the tape in the house, all my printer paper...where is my stapler? Where are my scissors???? Breathe.  Breathe again. These are the tiny things that can turn into big things so easily.  Does she take a shower. Yes. so her hair is fine.  Are her clothes modest, appropriate and clean? Yes, so it's not a big issue.  I hear that a messy room means she is creative.  And all the missing office supplies suggests that also.  However, is she rolling her eyes as me, disrespectful, unkind or defiant.?  Those are the battles I will step up lay down the discipline.

3. Make alone time.  I find she acts out because she wants to be with me.  Play a game. Do date nights.  Run an errand together. Pray with her alone. Read Bible together. Just take her one on one and talk in your room. Show her you are willing to put down your phone or wait on those dishes and laundry, so you can look her in the eyes and show her how precious and important she is to you. Bring her in close, otherwise you will loose her in the future.  Make time for her now, so she will make time for you as she gets older.

4. Heaps of Love and Encouragement.  Out of all my girls, she needs the most love and affirmation. Constant encouragement and daily, almost hourly positive words and love.  The more I give, the better her attitude is.  I ask her how her "love tank" is doing and she honestly will say its low, so that is where I step up and squeeze her til she says, "hearts are coming out of my ears."  Is she giving you a hard time, just stop, give her a funny look and give her a hug and say I love you!  That will diffuse the issue on the spot. Love on them, pay attention to their moods and body language, she most likely just needs you to come and give her a huge hug.

5. Start your day in prayer and God's Word.  I find that I have more patience and am able to deal with situations in a more calm and peaceful way if I start my day with Jesus.  On the days that I overlook this precious time, my day is more frazzled and I tend to be more tightly wound. Pray for the patience, wisdom and understanding it takes to mold a young child. What a wonderful opportunity we have, and very important one, that I do not want to take it on without His guidance.  It is essential that she sees me spending this time with the Lord as well.  Show her how to be more like Jesus. Be the example.



It's hard to believe that the same child that tries me every which way and challenges me on a level that is beyond my understanding.  Is the same child that loves beyond measure, is compassionate and aware of the needs of others. She loves and cares deeply.  There is a fountain of love under her tough exterior.  At the end of the day, when all is said and done, she is waiting for her prayers, hugs and kisses. I thank the Lord for this beautiful daughter He has given me!