Yeshua told us His truth and Word would divide families, but it has never been more true when we start following Torah. Being in the Messianic family for 15 years, almost everyone I have spoken to has had a falling out with family or friends due to us wanting a deeper relationship with Yeshua. You would expect those who love you to be excited for these new found truths, and you eagerly share them, thinking they must want to know too. You are sadly mistaken. Some quietly respect your decision and others may exclude you from family affairs. Friends start becoming unavailable and eventually disappear all together. I remember feeling hurt and saddened over the loss. You are not alone. You are loved dear sister, we have a beautiful hope and peace through Yeshua. Let's immerse ourselves in His promises to make it through these difficult times.
These are 5 tips that have helped me in my journey and I pray that they are a balm for your heart.
1. Be in prayer.
Pray for those who persecute you. Pray for a softening of their hearts to respect your choices and for them to be open to listening. Pray for God to give you the words to say that will be effective and not cause strife. Pray for yourself. Pray for the Ruach to fill you with peace, love, patience and a joy that flows out of you and touches the lives around you.
2. Include them.
In defense, we want to pull away and cut them off. Some relationships that may be damaging to your family, may call for severing. But in most cases, we need to continue to reach out. They are afraid of what they do not know, and will pull away. This is where we can show them the love of Yeshua, through our actions and not our words. Invite them to Passover Seder dinners and other functions at your church. Make sure you are having regular dinners , birthdays, 4th of July, and attending soccer games that involves your family. Talk freely of your last Sabbath sermon you heard last week and share your plans for the upcoming Sukkot Camping you are attending. You may get some blank stares and nods, but you are slowing informing them so they get more comfortable with your new life changes.
3. Love them.
Friendships may pass along the wayside, but try to end on a loving note. I have realized certain friendships were meant for a season in my life, for which I will always be thankful. God, in His faithfulness, has given me friendships 100 fold in my journey to ease the pain of the ones lost. But, family is here to stay. Love them through this transition. It maybe a month or even years. Call and tell them you love them. Send them a thoughtful text or card. Give and love freely!
4.Forgive.
I know of instances where harsh words were exchanged, resentment, and slander has occurred and this can cause great divides. Hurt and pain on both sides. Forgive them. As followers of Yeshua, we do not have a choice. That is no way to begin our path following Torah, if we have unforgiveness in our heart.
5. Be Ready.
Be ready with answers to why you do what you do. If you are following the above steps: Praying, Including them in your life, showing love and forgiveness...eventually, they will ask. Be Ready! Have a simple answer and scripture, just in case they want to open their Bible. Say everything in love. We want to provoke them to jealousy, so they desire a deeper relationship with Yeshua.
