Fight For Your Marriage

Today I heard another sad story of a Christian couple who ended their marriage in divorce.  It just breaks my heart as I am sure it does to our Heavenly Father.  People are fighting less and less for their marriages,  abandoning their families, friends and most of all their faith.  Marriage is a constant state of compromise and understanding, it actually takes work!  As a woman, I hear alot of, "if onlies".  If only...... my husband were more romantic, If only....... my husband helped around the house, If only........ my husband was the spritual leader I want him to be...ect... THEN I might consider fighing for our marriage and doing what I can to make it work.  I am no expert theologian, but my Bible doesn't say it that way.  As wives, we have the power to build up our homes or tear it down(Prov. 14:1).  You can make that choice to nag and complain..OR hold your tongue and encourage your husband instead of pointing out the negative.  Let's just work on us, our side of the marriage, and see how much your actions can change things around.  Here are a few things that I have gleaned from others over the years and have to remind myself daily if I am being the helpmate my husband needs.

1. Ladies, SUBMIT to your husbands(Eph. 5:22).   Before you get your tailfeathers all ruffled over that word submit, you need to read it for youselves.  This is the way God designed marriage. You have to aligned yourself, thoughts and ideas under God and His Word. We are not the leaders of the home, and if you are, then you need to hand the reigns over to your husband.  Marriage is designed for us to be under the protection and care of our husbands, and then our husbands are under God.  If you not submitting to your husband, then you are not submitting to God.(Eph. 5:23-24)  I love this illustration!

2. Stop the nagging/complaining(Prov. 19:13).  Our disagreeing and nagging are like a continual dripping! Don't be a leaky faucet!   We always want to have our say and be heard. Wanting to correct our husbands and show them the "correct" way in doing things.  Sometimes, we just gotta sit back and enjoy the ride.  So, if your husband wants to take the long way on Hwy 8 instead of the freeway, don't try to tell him all the logical reasons of why he needs to take the freeway.  One beautiful Sunday, our girls were napping in the back seat while we were driving.  My husband was driving all over the place, and I didn't know where we were half the time but I just sat back and enjoyed holding his hand in the quiet.  He ended up(by mistake of course) on some back roads of St.Paul by the Mississippi River, and it was such a beauiful back road. We would never have found it if I had tried to tell him that he missed his turn about 3 miles back.  In the grande picture, it's not worth it to nag him about picking up his dirty clothes, complain about watching the kids all day, or nag him about doing HIS part.  Do these things as unto the Lord, with a cheerful heart, and you will notice a change in your attitude and a possible change in his actions.

3.Be his cheerleader(Prov. 31).  I am not saying to go don your high school cheerleading out fit and find those pom-poms, but I am pretty sure he wouldn't mind :)  It might help more......but, Proverbs 31 shows us a great deal.  One of my favorite verses in Proverbs 31 is..."The heart of her husband safely trusts her;"    Can you say that???  I know my heart wouldn't feel safe if I didn't have the support of my husband.  If I am not encouraging, supportive and "cheering" him on in his ministry or work, how will his heart be entrusted to us.  If you are going to shoot down his dreams, goals or ideas, he will be reluctant to ever share his true heart to you.  That is a precious gift that I want to be entrusted with for the rest of our days.

These are just a few things that were on my heart lately!  Not every marriage is the same, we are all at different stages and situations, but it is never too late to start fighting the Devil to keep your marriage.   Now go get that cheerleader outfit on, and stand under that umbrella with a smile on your face!!
***This doesn't apply to those who don't feel safe or are being harmed in their marriages.  Seek outside help immediately. ****