Waiting For My (Sabbath Keeping, Torah Observant, Festival loving) Prince Charming!

I have 4 daughters, and to be honest I have thought about this for them.  I pray my girls all have Torah observant husbands someday, and that they don't grow to be discouraged as they wait on the Lord. I see a frustration among our young, amazing Torah keeping ladies who have grown up in this movement.  Many are in small communities, even home groups, where the selection of a possible spouse is not ideal.  You are waiting and longing to run a home of your own, raise a family and desire a equally yoked spouse to love. But where is he???? Does God really know the desires of your heart? You've quoted that verse to yourself almost daily.  You are thinking..."What more can I do?"  Should I go travel and find that man that got has for me?  Online Torah dating sites?  Hop from community to community, praying he is there!? Go to Israel and get him right from the Holy Land?  My dear, sweet young lady who is waiting for her Torah observant prince charming. Here are 3 steps to help you in your time of waiting, even though they may not be what you want to hear.

1. Serve and Minister to others.  This is such a great time to serve those who need help.  Focus on serving the Lord and others while you wait.  Being a single woman, your time is valuable and precious, use it for the Lord.  Your community needs ladies like you to be active in meal trains, baby/wedding showers, nursery, teaching, singing, kitchen duty or a mother's assistant.  There is always a need. This serves many purposes.  You are serving and ministering, you are taking the focus off yourself, you are not idle and you are building character of which will be needed if God places a husband in your life.
2. Seek the Lord, not a husband.   I love the saying, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man must seek Him in order to find her."  Ladies, don't settle for anything less than a man after God's own heart.  He must seek the Lord, and then he will find YOU!  You do not need to go on husband hunting trip around the country.  God is quite capable of bringing him to you when He deems you both ready and capable of marriage.  You need to make sure you are ready spiritually, so when the time comes, you will not have regrets or delays. There are temptations all around you. Satan is trying to steal your purity and give you a feeling of incompleteness and unsettled spirit.  That is not of God. Pray, pray, pray. Be on your knees in prayer to make you complete in the Lord.  Remember, the best gift you can give to your future husband, is to be able to tell him that you saved yourself for him.  Your purity of thoughts, actions and body are ready to be given to the one God has planned you.
3. Helpmate skills.   I know my husband could have benefited from me taking a cooking class or two.  If you can't boil an egg or sew a button on a shirt, then use this time of waiting to better yourself.  Compile a list of things you want to learn and start researching the best way to achieve this skill.  Some ideas would be: sewing, cooking(gotta know how to make Challah!), teaching, knitting, making natural products(soap, toothpaste, deodorant, candles, ect), personal finance, farming, gardening, learning Hebrew or, organizational skills.  Look into reading blogs, books, learning from a mentor, a college class, or a class at church.

You may say, " I am doing all those things, now what?" 
Continue to wait.  Don't rush God's timing.  Don't take things into your own hands, if God is not directing you.  If you want God's best, then let Him guide your path.  Surround yourself with like-minded girlfriends.  Encourage each other and keep each other accountable in God's Word.  Be content where you are and with Him.  Yes, God said He will give us the desires of our heart, but make sure your desires are lining up with His.  Is it His desire that you marry right now..or dare I say, at all?  Pray for His desire to fill your heart and to give you peace about it.  He will either grow that desire to marry or He will replace it with what He has called you to do.  Make sure you are open to receiving what He has in store for you. Ladies, you are so precious and I want you to be full of love, joy and peace. Yes, marriage is a wonderful and amazing commitment, but your journey with the Lord is where true love lies.

My Marriage is on the Rocks!



 

 

Yes, my marriage is on the rocks.....Biblical rocks that is.  Jesus the Rock, the rock of forgiveness, the rock of joy, the rock of submission, the rock of self-control, and the rock of love.  The unity of marriage is getting weaker and weaker as days go by.  Couples, Christian or not, are giving up on their vows. Satan is after marriages stronger than ever, so we have to be diligent more than ever to be in prayer and in God's Word, and shut out the world.  A world that is telling you that you deserve more, a husband who helps more, or plays with the kids more, who tends to your needs more...those are Satan's whispers of discontent.  See them for what they are..lies!   Let's just set the flaws of our husbands aside for now...let's look at you.  What rocks are you building on???  Personal dreams, climbing the corporate ladder, diet and exercise, getting that degree, vacations and large home??  There is nothing wrong with wanting or having these things.  But if you are putting them before your husband, then the downward spiral begins.  Our husbands deserve our respect, even when you think they don't deserve it.  When we stand on the rock of self-control and submission, then God can work amazing and beautiful things in our marriage thru our attitude and behavior.  Stop pouting, complaining, picking fights, and nagging..When we bring our selves willingly and joyfully under the leadership of our husbands, those dreams can happen in a healthy and respectful way.

Are you holding onto bitterness for things that were said in a heated argument or careless jibing?  You need to stand on the rock of forgiveness.  God does not say forgive only these certain things.  He just says to forgive. And forgive again.  And forgive again.  And forgive again. If you truly forgive, then you are not bringing it up ever again. 
⁵ But if anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but all of you to some extent—not to be too severe. ⁶ This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, ⁷ so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. ⁸ Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. ⁹ For to this end I also wrote, that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things. ¹⁰ Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one^[a] for your sakes in the presence of Christ, ¹¹ lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices. 2 Cor. 2:5-11

Are you mad that he doesn't meet your expectations??  Why are you putting expectations on an imperfect man.  Our help cometh from the Lord.  He shall supply all our needs.  Stand on the rock of joy.  Don't waste another day being mad at your spouse because he didn't take the garbage out.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Psalm 51:12

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

Are you "falling out of love" with your spouse?  Then you need to choose to love even when you don't feel like it.  Continue honoring him, respecting him, and submitting to him.  Serve and love him as unto the Lord and you will not come back empty.
that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Titus 2:4

 
I am reminded of the foolish woman in Proverbs who tears her house down.  Our foolish behaviors can destroy a marriage quickly.  Don't be that woman. Bring honor to your husband.  God can restore your marriage thru your biblical attitude and behaviors.
Marriage takes alot of work, but it is so worth it. Standing on those Biblical rocks will bring you closer to a beautiful, passionate, loving, and respectful marriage with your spouse.  Fight for it.  Desire it.  Pray for it. 
I will be praying for you my friends.  Give it to Jesus. 







Fight For Your Marriage

Today I heard another sad story of a Christian couple who ended their marriage in divorce.  It just breaks my heart as I am sure it does to our Heavenly Father.  People are fighting less and less for their marriages,  abandoning their families, friends and most of all their faith.  Marriage is a constant state of compromise and understanding, it actually takes work!  As a woman, I hear alot of, "if onlies".  If only...... my husband were more romantic, If only....... my husband helped around the house, If only........ my husband was the spritual leader I want him to be...ect... THEN I might consider fighing for our marriage and doing what I can to make it work.  I am no expert theologian, but my Bible doesn't say it that way.  As wives, we have the power to build up our homes or tear it down(Prov. 14:1).  You can make that choice to nag and complain..OR hold your tongue and encourage your husband instead of pointing out the negative.  Let's just work on us, our side of the marriage, and see how much your actions can change things around.  Here are a few things that I have gleaned from others over the years and have to remind myself daily if I am being the helpmate my husband needs.

1. Ladies, SUBMIT to your husbands(Eph. 5:22).   Before you get your tailfeathers all ruffled over that word submit, you need to read it for youselves.  This is the way God designed marriage. You have to aligned yourself, thoughts and ideas under God and His Word. We are not the leaders of the home, and if you are, then you need to hand the reigns over to your husband.  Marriage is designed for us to be under the protection and care of our husbands, and then our husbands are under God.  If you not submitting to your husband, then you are not submitting to God.(Eph. 5:23-24)  I love this illustration!

2. Stop the nagging/complaining(Prov. 19:13).  Our disagreeing and nagging are like a continual dripping! Don't be a leaky faucet!   We always want to have our say and be heard. Wanting to correct our husbands and show them the "correct" way in doing things.  Sometimes, we just gotta sit back and enjoy the ride.  So, if your husband wants to take the long way on Hwy 8 instead of the freeway, don't try to tell him all the logical reasons of why he needs to take the freeway.  One beautiful Sunday, our girls were napping in the back seat while we were driving.  My husband was driving all over the place, and I didn't know where we were half the time but I just sat back and enjoyed holding his hand in the quiet.  He ended up(by mistake of course) on some back roads of St.Paul by the Mississippi River, and it was such a beauiful back road. We would never have found it if I had tried to tell him that he missed his turn about 3 miles back.  In the grande picture, it's not worth it to nag him about picking up his dirty clothes, complain about watching the kids all day, or nag him about doing HIS part.  Do these things as unto the Lord, with a cheerful heart, and you will notice a change in your attitude and a possible change in his actions.

3.Be his cheerleader(Prov. 31).  I am not saying to go don your high school cheerleading out fit and find those pom-poms, but I am pretty sure he wouldn't mind :)  It might help more......but, Proverbs 31 shows us a great deal.  One of my favorite verses in Proverbs 31 is..."The heart of her husband safely trusts her;"    Can you say that???  I know my heart wouldn't feel safe if I didn't have the support of my husband.  If I am not encouraging, supportive and "cheering" him on in his ministry or work, how will his heart be entrusted to us.  If you are going to shoot down his dreams, goals or ideas, he will be reluctant to ever share his true heart to you.  That is a precious gift that I want to be entrusted with for the rest of our days.

These are just a few things that were on my heart lately!  Not every marriage is the same, we are all at different stages and situations, but it is never too late to start fighting the Devil to keep your marriage.   Now go get that cheerleader outfit on, and stand under that umbrella with a smile on your face!!
***This doesn't apply to those who don't feel safe or are being harmed in their marriages.  Seek outside help immediately. ****